A friend and I were at lunch yesterday at a new restaurant. We don’t see each other that often, so the two of us were chatting a mile a minute and catching up on stuff, not really paying any attention to what was going on around us. We get our sushi and are still gabbing away, when an old man comes shuffling up to our table, waving some brochures around and generally swaying like a drunken sailor.

Just for your edification, you should know that I have a problem. The oldest, dirtiest guys you’ve ever seen like to hit on me. And keep on hitting until I physically have to walk away. And due to my good-girl upbringing, I’m usually too polite to cut them off. So as I’m staring up at this gentleman who’s missing his two front teeth and sporting a bandaged hand and a digital camera, the worst possible scenario clicks into my brain. Go on…I’ll give you a minute…

Got it? *Shudder*

Well, he drops his brochures on our table and says “I’m here to take pictures for the local Food Menu and Coupon magazine. We’ve been around for 47 years, very reputable company. Would you girls mind if I take your picture?”

He’s swaying so hard that I’m afraid he’s going to fall over, and proceeds to show us his new digital camera. My friend is always game for craziness, so she says “Sure! We’d love it!” And then we spend the next five minutes with him arranging our plates on the table, positioning us so we can both fit in the picture, and generally just chatting away. Well, more like mumbling really. I have no idea what he was saying…I think I caught something about his sister…

And then he tries to take the picture. With his eye to the camera lens. And he can’t figure out why he can’t see us.

My friend and I are staring at his eye in the viewfinder on the back of the camera. It was all we could do not to giggle. But we nicely showed him how to turn it around and work the camera and he snaps several pictures. Then proceeds to dig in and really get down to business. Photo shoot time. Candid shots, posed shots, artistic shots…anything you can think of.

Luckily my friend cuts him off. But then he stands around wanting to chat. Like I said, they never get the hint. By this time I’m feeling awkward and embarrassed, and horribly sorry for this guy. And all I want to do is finish my sushi. He tries to show us the pictures he took, but can’t get the camera to work in his shaking hands. He drops it in my friend’s seaweed salad.

He apologizes profusely, but eventually, when we start shoving sushi in our mouths, he gets the point and wanders away.

And then I start to wonder…is he really taking pictures for the magazine? Or will we end up on some Fabulous Russian Brides website (or worse, in his personal collection). I think we’ll holding our breaths and watching closely for the latest edition of the Food Magazine…